Is There an App for That?

Completely by the by: I was musing about poetry and its lack of necessity,
when this little top ten list came popping out of the ether at me:

Is There an App for That?
If we're going to go by the need to know, then here's a
Need to Know: Top Ten List
10. how your hair looks from the back
9. how many more calories you should probably limit yourself to today
8. which movie you should stream next on Netflix
7. how much longer you can put off calling your mother before becoming a bad person
6. how hot on a scale of 1-10 that girl/guy in front of you in line at the espresso bar is
5. whether today is the day to up the number of reps in your workout
4. if you hold open the fridge with one foot, reach for a glass with one hand, will you still be able to answer your phone too
3. was Steve Jobs an asshole or not
2. is it worth tweeting your present location to all and sundry
1. that joke you just told: funny or offensive?

Stay tuned for exact answers after a message from our sponsors. (Hint: 3 days)
This dancing potato peeler will revolutionize your life!

And we're back!
10. like a nest that fell from a tree
9. 500 and it's only 10 am
8. Limitless. I just watched it and it made me smarter
7. Three days
6. 6.2 from behind. Lucky you. From the front, only 4.8
5. Yes
4. Nope
3. Yes. But you should still emulate him
2. No. Everybody cool is too far away to care
1. Funny, in an offensive way.